L-I-F-E

L-I-F-E

Live in fruitfully endlessly... that's what gave you life... and there's another word call 'fate' and also 'destiny'... slow as I'm usually am, I discovered a little truth that tug me outta of my little dream but this, I will say later when I'm in the mood! Heeheez! just to keep you in suspense in just a while!

When christmas creeps along, anticipation and excitement just fills our little hearts, with joy, love and happiness - a season, a day that no other holidays can do to you, well, at least it is for me... dunno why, but I always feel happy during this time, not even the word 'PEAK' can spoil it... though it often does with its meaniest job and treacherous bosses! just like last year, just like this year... though I admit that I'm pretty nuah and nonchalant much more this year than last year... dunno how many complaints or backstabs I've gotten myself already! heeheez~~~ jialat jialat, really must kick my butt up to get ready to sprint... really useless```

But now that christmas is over (well, not so, coz there's supposed to be 12 days of christmas and today is only the 3rd day...), but already all too soon, the festive season has drained outta me... and I've gone cheong-ing abit more than usual again lez... was out at MOS (Ministry of Sound) on Wed... a wed nite! can you believe that?? hahaz! haven't been out on weekdays for a long time, coz of commitments (eh, don't play play hor! I'm fully committed to my work ok? *bleah*) and been hanging around with my old friend called Sleep God. Well, can't help it can I? when he misses me so! *puke puke*

then was out at Dbl O on friday... though our original plan was to go MOS... AGAINZ! but thumbs up for Dbl O! coz I've finally found a place with Top 40s! been on the prowl for pubs with Top 40s recently... maybe I'm looking for something groovy, nonsensical music or stuffz that spills and spats with nothing but love, love and love... yahz~~~ think I'm just someone who needs to be spoilt and pampered and showered with these 4 letter words... always felt that I'm a person who has been forced to grow up too much and too fast when I was young and now, all I want is to be a little gal againz, to have someone to look after by and to learn how to talk, walk and run againz~~~ maybe it's really a little too exaggerated and a little too much to ask for, but think I really need to relearn how to talk and walk... can't seems to be doing it right and always got caught in the tongue... guess I'm just someone who doesn't know how to express herself? yahz~~~ guess that's what it is...

Dunno why~~~ but felt so dazed last friday... and... so lost... and felt like a wandering soul... nowhere to go and unwanted everywhere... from the very blur vision that I see happy people all around me... all except me... think I'm really bad... must not think this way... must shoo all those negative thoughts outta my head! *shoo shoo shoo~* *out out out*

and oh manz! Fate really does like to make a fool outta Man! Ever had a crush on someone but you have lost touch of his whereabouts and only to see him 6 years later? and being unsure if it's him that you don't wanna approach him. And yet you find out 6 years again due to some stupid idol program that it's really him!??! How stupid and dramatic can it be?? and how many more 6 years do I have? I really feel like a fool... should have muster my courage and asked him that time but my guess, is that he won't know who I am neither coz I was such a small fry (even now...) though I was the teacher's pet for some god-knows-what reason! and I really doubt anything will happen between the 2 of us! hahaz!

I can still remember how I was then, one short gal with shoulder-length hair and with a long fringe that kept falling over my eyes, covering my vision, covering my face and always kana called out from the crowd in front of everyone to be pinpointed as One-eyed Jane during lunch break! hmph! I was once a model student for having the neatest hair okiz? and I was just contented to be seated besides him on the piano, playing duet together... he was quiet but there's just this little charm that attracts me to him. Look at him now! more open up and more chatty... but perhaps I don't really know him that's why... heeheez~~~ but maybe it's just these memories that's what makes things more memorable! okz! shall just kid myself with that! hahaz! and guess I'm always someone who's really much, much more than a beat too slow! so jialazt! Adios!