White or Pink - I want neither!

White or Pink - I want neither!

Lian asked me today, how come I have been writing happy stuzz in my blog recently, what exactly happened that is making me happy? Well, good things shouldn't be talked about and today is the day that shatters everything... all these little happiness that I've been feeling for the past week that made me started writing again... coz I've promised myself that when I start writing again, I want the very first entry to be a happy one and to be happy forever. But I guess all good things will come to an end and my happiness is just this short-lived... Whereas white or pink, I want neither... I just want to be myself... is that really so difficult?

Guess nobody knows what white and pink means... not even Bug when I told him about not choosing either one... coz to him, it's really the physical 'white' and 'pink' that I've told him about and the white and pink which I'm really refering to now, are just metaphors... I just want to be who I am now, without white nor pink...

I dunno what's going on in my life... being full of spews and pews... maybe anonymous will write again saying that I should not have so much hatred and disgruntles... but how much can one bear, stumbling upon obstacles one after another and falling into traps that just appear outta nowhere? I really have too many bruises n cuts, thanks but no thanks, I've enough... why do I keep stumbling? falls after falls when my wounds have barely heal? I know what I'm saying is plain nonsensel to anyone who dares venture to read this, but to me... I'm just baring my soul... to no one particular person at all...

Seems like all my life I've been at the brut of people's idle talk. Like that I looked dao, I looked lian, etcetce when I was just minding my business and not to smile any-old-how at people of which somebody will add to the list and say that I'm flirtatious. Yayaya, start telling me about not bothering about what others think. I agree that it's true to a certain extent but how will you feel when others do such things and I tried to avoid such behaviour and yet I'm still the only one who's being ridiculed? Don't you think it's simply atrocious?? Why do people have so many comments about me? Am I being talked about as much others are? Silence is golden... I learnt that today... that it's always wiser to just keep your trap shut and just nod your head... and people seems to appreciate that more... talking about opinions and room for discussions, well, to me there are just none rite now... right! N-O-N-E!

Okez... think I feel slightly better now le... gonna nurse my tummy... haven't been feeling well lately even though I'm always out... jux coz I dun wanna stay at home... been having fainting spells, headaches, gastrics, tummy pains and diarrhea since Friday night... feeling weak and without strength as lethargy enshroud me...

Oh ya! Just remembered that I saw the cutest mammal in Sept's FHM (yah, I DO flip FHM ocassionally, what's wrong with that? Isn't it called 'For Her Magazine'? D-uh~~~)! It's called the Silky Anteater!!! Take a look at this pic, my, isn't it adorable? with it's little claws in front and the simply innocent and adorable pygmy body and face! Don't you just love it??? it got a super hearty appetite though, it actually eats about 6,000 termites a day!!! and don't you go and keep it in captivity, coz it'll simply go on strike and starve itself to death! Poor thing~~~