Fever?!?

Fever??!

A Call from home... who could it be? The number seems to spell trouble... an urgent voice rattled at the other end... my sister...

"Jie, mum's fever shot up to 38.8 deg!!! how, how, how??" I could hear her voice quivered silently... "Send her to the hospital??" I couldn't think, not in my groggy state when I woke up with a headache in the morning... "Ok, wait... I'll try to call Daddy..."

The ringing tone droned in a distance. A tone that signified far away, distance and miles... HE's still overseas... I was super angry, angry for abandoning my mum like that, frustrated about him not being concerned at all... HE wouldn't have call back yesterday had it not been for me to sms him about mum... mad that HE was still with HER...

I talked to him in short, curt sentences - words that I knew were rude when they spewed out of my mouth... but I couldn't care less... 'coz right now, mum was my utmost priority...

Back home...
Mum's fever had gone down slightly... and my little sister was exhausted from rushing to and fro to dab my mum with ice-water... While washing the dishes, a strange feeling overcame me... it's a feeling called, "Loneliness and coldness...". It felt strange 'cos it's as though I haven't have a warm family for ages and that my house has been empty all this time... just the 4 of us... and I, felt exactly like a zombie - totally evoked of feelings, just like an empty husk or the scarecrow in 'The Wizard of Oz' without a heart... a heart that should burn firely and fiercely, that eludes warm and a shiny glow... but it just wasn't there... all I felt was ice - blue, lonely and remote...

How can I get that fire going again? How can I set it ablaze? Has Hope really flee?

Telling me to let go and look ahead wouldn't work. 'Cos I'm just one stubborn person. You can try telling that to someone who has once grasped "Happiness" to let go... it's just too hard to do so... even if you managed to do it, you could only be delusioning yourself...

Just to sidetrack from everything... Saw something quite meaningfull off a friend's nick... "A Relationship isn't there to Hinder you from Expanding your Social Circle. If it does, it's not Love but Possession." Too many a times, we've treasured Love and taken Friendship for granted. Lots of people think that friends will always be there, even I, have committed such a mistake before that once a good friend of mine, now I don't even know what's going on in her life...

"Effort should be made to keep a friend. It's so hard to find someone whom you can relate to, why not take an extra step to keep him/her?" I remembered this clearly. Someone told me this. Told me this when I've lost this great friend of mine... and till now, I regretted it...

So why live in regrets when you can make amendments now? Stop to ponder about people who really care and are there for you, tell them you care too and that you appreciate them for all they've done... Sms them now to show that you care! *HuGgIeZz!!!*

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